Hi friends!
Real life post alert. I’ve been in a bit of a funk for the past week or so. There have been some large events and some small events and together they’ve left me feeling allll the emotions – anxious, stressed, conflicted, sad. I’ve been trying to find the words to describe how I’m feeling and haven’t had much luck. In fact, on three separate occasions yesterday I opened up Instagram stories to chat with you guys about it but I held back.
And then at 8pm last night, I finally sat down for the day to read blog posts and I read Julie’s post – One of “Those” Days – and you guys, it was like I could have written the freaking thing myself. She writes, much better than I ever will, about how sometimes it’s difficult as a blogger to share about the average days. The ones that aren’t good….but aren’t horrible…they’re just blah.
A lot of times it’s easy to talk about bigger events.
There have definitely been some big events in the past week. As some of you may know, last Wednesday we had to put down one of our dogs. While I had lost childhood pets, this was the first time I’d lost one of “my” pets as an adult. We got him when he was 3 months old and had him for 9 years. And you guys, it hurts. So much more than I ever thought it would. I struggled with everything from the expected things like missing him greeting me when I came home and having to explain death to my almost 3-year-old, to the unexpected things like mistaking our black laundry hamper for him out of the corner of my eye.
And then, on Sunday, my uncle (and godfather) passed away after a short battle with cancer. He was only 60 years old and my cousin, his youngest daughter, is getting married in two weeks. My heart aches for her (and the rest of their family) in a way I can’t even explain. His funeral is taking place on what would have been my aunt and uncle’s 38th wedding anniversary.
Those are big things. They’re sad. They’re messy. But they’re easier to write about.
Then there are the little things. The things that may seem big in the moment…but in the grand scheme of things, really are small. This week has been full of them.
Like that fact that Monday was seemingly endless. It involved a myriad of errands that were made infinitely more difficult by the fact that I had to drag two kids along with me and get both of them in and out of their car seats 100 times. And then both kids spent the afternoon taking turns screaming at the top of their lungs and I got no work done. Those days are hard.
But you know what’s also hard? Being someone who desperately wishes they had those two screaming kids to tote around.
Or the fact that on Tuesday, I was rushing around running errands to get ready to go out of town for the funeral and feeling slightly panicked about taking my kids on a plane for the first time. That was stressful.
But you know what’s also stressful? Having to deal with the fact that your dad just died.
Or the fact that I’m annoyed that my house seems to constantly be a mess, no matter what I do. And I can’t keep up with the dishes or the pet hair no matter how hard I try. It’s a never-ending battle.
But you know what else is a battle? Every day, for all the people in Texas and Florida who don’t have houses anymore right now thanks to the hurricanes.
I’m not exactly sure what the point of all this is other than here’s the thing. Having hard days is normal. Everyone’s life is messy.
My kitchen constantly has enough dishes lined up to fill the dishwasher again before I even get around to emptying the clean ones. My entire house is covered in pet hair. On any given day there are 3 days worth of cups, cans and bottles on the end tables in my living room. Our playroom so messy you can barely walk through it, but most nights I go to bed without cleaning it up because…what’s the point?
At least once a week I go two days without showering and wear the same shirt. And sometimes, after a long day, when the baby is finally sleeping, I put on the tv for my wild and crazy toddler and hope that I can fall asleep for 5 minutes in the chair next to him.
Most days I question my ability to be a good mom at least once.
But no matter who you are, there will be hard days. Days when your kids are complete nightmares. Days when you lose someone you love. There will be good days and bad days, stressful days and happy days. And there will always be people who are worse off than you.
That doesn’t mean that you can’t have rough days. It doesn’t trivialize your problems OR theirs. I live in Ohio, where we’ll never be directly hit by a hurricane. I can sympathize, and go to Costco and stock up on supplies to help those who have been hit by one, while still struggling with the fact that my own house can be overwhelming at times.
I can love and support my family through the loss of a loved one while still getting stressed about taking two young kids on their first and second plane rides. And I can have hard days with my kids while still empathizing with those who are struggling to have kids of their own.
Me struggling with stuff in my life does not trivialize what is going on in the lives of others.
I guess this all stems from the fact that I was having a tough week, made tougher by the fact that I was feeling like I didn’t have a right to complain because other people had it worse.
But the fact is, the circumstances of others don’t change mine. We can all have hard days. And we will.
And in the end, all you can do is your best. So I’ll continue to try to be the best person I can be. I’ll choose to focus mostly on the good and work hard to embrace the things I have control over and accept the things I don’t. I’ll support those around me who are struggling and also acknowledge my own struggles.
That’s real life. That’s normal. And that’s ok.
We’ll be back to regularly scheduled programming next week. I promise I have at least 3 recipes tested and photographed, just waiting to be shared. But for now, this is me writing out what I need to hear…and sharing it with all of you in hopes that it will bring comfort to someone else as well.
–Lindsay–
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so sorry to hear about your dog and uncle, sending huge hugs your way ♥
i really, really, and i mean REALLY loved this post. suffering, stress and worry is all SO relative and you can never diminish your own problems or think they’re unimportant because they are – regardless of what else is going on in the world. we all have our own struggles…but it’s also humbling and helpful to remember that some people would kill for your ‘bad days’, that notion always really helps me when im really struggling – especially with mental health stuff really.
i hope you have a better week next week, lovely xxx
Definitely true. Thanks so much for your thoughts and for reading!
❤️ beautifully written. I’m so sorry for your losses, such a tough season for you these weeks. Praying for your family and your cousin, my heart goes out to you.
thanks, Liz!
Im so sorry for your loss. Such a great post. Yes people in the world have it worse then whatever you yourself may be going through but i don’t think it should diminish your person struggles, just open up your mind and eyes to relize perhaps your worries aren’t those that should be dragging you down.
so so true! Thank you!
Hard is hard, no matter what it looks like to other people. Praying for your travel & family & for the moments as a mama that are just tough.
thank you!
Lindsay I am sorry for you and your families losses. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I want to Thank You for this wonderfully written message as this is EXACTLY what I needed to hear today. I too have had a rough week, and while I try to focus on the positive and the wonderful blessings God has given me, I still struggle and have had one of “those” days all week now. You are absolutely correct in saying that we all have those days and we do deserve them. We can’t have everything perfect every moment of every day, life happens and we are humans with emotions. I just truly Thank You for this message. It has made my day and I will move forward with that and make the absolute best of this day and everyday, within my abilities.
Blessings to you and your family!
Hang in there! Your attitude is so important and sounds like you’ve got a great one!
I really needed this, and after the last week of my life I can say with 100% certainty I do know how you stay at home moms do it. So many things in this post hit home for me.
Sorry to hear you had a tough week as well. Hope the upcoming week is better!! xo
SO beautifully written! We all have those times and then little things that put our lives back into perspective. When it rains it pours and just know you have lots of people out there thinking about you and praying for you as this time passes. Really giving yourself a reality check is something I have struggled with while I’ve been in the hospital for a month now with this pregnancy. All I want to do is have this baby and go home because I miss my house and miss my life. Then I have to think back that I am thankful for every day I have to grow this baby inside of me and let her get healthier and stronger. I have the think that I am thankful I have a job that allows me to take this time off work and I am thankful that I have a house to take my baby home to when she does come.
With all that said it is still hard sometimes and thats ok! I’m right there with you girl!
I’ve been thinking of you constantly girl! I can’t imagine how emotionally draining your current situation is! Keep your spirits up and that beautiful baby will be here soon! But not too soon 😉
I’m so sorry for your losses. My dog is almost 12 and I can’t imagine what it will be like when I have to say goodbye to her. And also, cancer sucks.
so so hard! Hope yours has a few more years!
Lindsay- I’m so sorry for your losses and really feel for you and your struggles. I hear you big time. Having an ill child is all consuming and it’s been the better part of the last year and a half for me and there’s no foreseeable end to it. But, I’m so thankful for the blessings that are my kids and each person has their own challenges so there’s no plus to comparing mine with others. Just to say that life is beautiful and stressful and many other things. We make the most of everyday.
thanks so much Lauren. Sorry to hear you’ve had a tough year! Keep on doing what you’re doing. You’re rocking it!
I appreciate and love this post more than I could articulate 😀 Thank you for being so real. My life is very messy — and it feels like it has been a constant disaster, more often that not, for the last 3 years. My life hasn’t quite worked out according to plan … not that it ever does, but I’m not sure how mine came off the rails. Many times I keep it all to myself … because other people “have it worse” — but at the end of the day, Life is a beautiful mess for all of us… and that’s okay.
Continuing to think of you and your family as you navigate through all of the hard stuff, big and little! And just for the record, I LOVE your instagram stories .. Chase’s little voice is the best <3
so so true. hang in there, friend!
Thanks for writing this. It’s a good reminder on both sides; when my hard things are the big things, and when they’re the small things.
It is so, so hard to lose a pet. When we had to say goodbye to our other dog I felt a lot of the same things. I had no idea just how hard it would be. I kept looking for him on the couch and cried through the first thunderstorm because he wasn’t barking. So I guess all that to say, I’m thinking of you. The big hard things make the smaller hard things even harder. I hope you have some beautiful moments this week.
Thanks so much friend. Appreciate it. Pet loss is soooooo hard. Thinking of you as well.
So sorry for the loss of your uncle and your dog…..those are both tough situations no matter what is going on. I can’t even imagine flying with two little ones as flying itself can be stressful. What I do know is you will look back and say wow that wasn’t as hard as I thought because you are prepared. I appreciate your blog and read it everyday and thank you for all you do! Take care and god bless!
I feel and love this so hard, Mama. I’m so sorry for your losses. You are doing an amazing job. “This too shall pass” – to be remembered in both good times and bad.
very true! thanks for the reminder!
Oof Lindsay, I’m sorry. That’s so unfair and sucky and I just hope things get better soon. Also please don’t ever feel like your emotions or sadness or whatever isn’t justified; we all feel things so differently. One person could be totally cool with one event but break down with something else, and another person could be the exact opposite. If you’re feeling something, it’s real, and it doesn’t matter what brought that feeling on. Hope you’re getting some rest and self-care in, and sending you lots of love!
So very sorry for your losses. I lost my adult pet 15 years ago and miss her every single day…….. Sincerely appreciate your sharing your honest feelings. We are all in this crazy life together and support is priceless. Prayers to you and your family.
Thank you for such an amazing, honest post! We all have rough days and this is a great reminder that none of us are alone in that. You bring up such good points about keeping things in perspective and trying to remain positive while at the same time allowing yourself to feel how you do. I hope things get better for you soon! You are an AMAZING mother and an incredible blogger – you touch so many lives without even knowing it! Thank you!!!
I love this post, and it reminds me of one I had written recently….”Wherever You Are.” In it, I said, “Hard for me, maybe not for you or anyone else.” I don’t believe we should ever have to downplay our “hard” because it’s ours….not making light of anyone else’s hard – truer or not truer than ours. It’s all subjective. I learned this super quickly…..going from “infertility” then bam, bam, bam – 1, 2, and 3 kids in 3 years. I hope the post helps you, too, Linds! xox
Beautifully written post. My heart goes to you in your loss of your uncle and dog, both were very big parts of your life. I have been struggling for months with those same, not-sure-what-it-is-but-I’m-down-and-frustrated-and-lost feelings. I actually stopped blogging on my personal blog long ago because I just felt like I didn’t have anything to talk about because I was feeling that way and I am always of the feeling that no one wants to hear me whine. I struggle with working a full-time job, having a full-time freelance business, being a mom and managing a house when my husband is on the road 80% of the year. I haven’t seen my friends in ages and feel so lonely, yet I’m hardly ever alone thanks to my toddler and pups. No one tells you in those baby classes that motherhood completely changes EVERYTHING about you–physically, mentally, psychologically. There’s no way to prepare for life while caring for another life, let alone two of them. I appreciate your realness with your social media because I feel like I’m not alone in my struggles. You are an inspiration to a lot of women, including myself. Best of luck with the flights, hugs to you for your losses, and hopes for a better week to come.
I read all your posts and think you are super Mom. You are amazing, thanks for sharing this very important message! Especially the part about your own trials, not trivializing others. Such an important perspective!
Your entire blog is a wonderful inspiration! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. <3
Beautifully written! I saw Julie’s post earlier this week too (and now yours) and think that these are such important posts to write. Everyone has hard times and it’s important to acknowledge those feelings and move through them to become stronger!
Thank you for sharing this. I am so, so sorry about the losses you had this past week. I lost my cat three years ago and I lost her when she was 19 yrs old and I got her when she was 6 weeks old. It still hurts but I have a shrine to remember her. When my husband was with me that day we had to put her down and seeing him cry made me cry even more.
There are days that are hard. Real hard. I may not have kids but I have shit days too. Then I sit on my scratched up couch and realize how fortunate I am in. I have a house, a job I love, and a husband who adores me.
so true! hugs to you for your cat as well. xo