This is a guest post from Katy Widrick, who blogs at KatyWidrick.com and runs a blogging and online marketing consulting company called Make Media Over. Katy is the mom of two gorgeous girls (4 and 1) and shares their journey at Bug Child{ren}.
I recently took a call from a friend who was having a rough day working from home with two young kids. She asked me how I had it altogether with:
- my own online marketing and blog consulting business
- a separate, part-time job
- two blogs
- two kids
And I laughed so hard that I nearly spit out my coffee (my third cup of the day, mind you, because my baby had been up twice through the night and the big kid crawled into bed with us at 5:30 a.m. asking for an episode of Daniel Tiger and COFFEE IS LIFE).
I don’t have it together. Not nearly. Nobody I know does, regardless of whether or not she has kids, but the little gremlins sure seem to add a new layer of stress and guilt. Screw up with a client project, burn dinner or have a bad workout and you can do better the next day. No harm, no foul.
Screw up with the kids and it sure feels as if you’ve ruined their little lives.
I have (and this is not an exhaustive list):
- turned off the camera during Skype calls to nurse a screaming baby just to try to maintain some semblance that I am a professional
- launched websites at 2 a.m. in my pajamas because it was the only time I could type without fear that a flying juice box would detonate over my keyboard
- said no to travel opportunities because I don’t have childcare or family nearby
- had sleepless nights thinking about time I wasn’t spending with my kids and husband
- had sleepless nights thinking about time I wasn’t spending on my work
I’ve worked out of the home with one kid (in daycare) and later, worked from home with two kids (one in school and one at home) and I promise you: there’s nothing easy about any of it. In fact, I wrote more about it in The Tale of Two Experiences and Spoiler Alert: It’s All Hard.
[clickToTweet tweet=”What does working from home with kids really look like? Plus, tips for staying productive.” quote=”What does working from home with kids really look like? Plus, tips for staying productive.”]
But I will admit, there are a number of systems and routines I have in place that help, or at least fool those close to me into thinking I am some kind of super mom.
My Bullet Journal
I am Type A. I like lists, and plans and schedules. I am always early to appointments and clutter makes me slightly shaky. No planner has ever really worked for me, but the bullet journal — a system, not an actual product — has been a life-changer for me.
Shared Calendars
Yes, this is another system, but having a shared Google calendar with my husband means that I can always see at a glance when he is out of town or working late. I put important, can’t-miss events on our calendar (school recitals, visitors, etc.) so neither of us accidentally double-books ourselves. I put blocks of time where I need him to be home so that I can take a client call or go for a workout, and he puts blocks of time when he wants to be able to watch sports or do work without interruption.
Early Mornings/Late Nights
I honestly do not believe in work-life balance. I think it’s an awesome thing to strive for and I’m constantly trying to make my own scales a little bit less lopsided. But there are weeks where my kids just need me: they’re sick, they’re sad, they need some extra love. And when that happens, I don’t feel bad putting my work and deadlines aside.
Often, though, my work needs me just as desperately. Clients break websites and call me in a panic. A brand approaches me for an amazing opportunity that I just can’t pass up. And when that happens, I have to ask for more help with the kids, and/or get more creative about how and when I work.
So, I work early in the morning, before the kids get up (usually after the baby wakes me up around 4 a.m., I nurse her, put her back down and then go downstairs to check email). Or if I’m just too tired, I’ll work for a few hours after they’re in bed.
I want traditional hours, but life just doesn’t work that way right now. So I do what I can, when I can, and let the rest go.
Saying No
Saying no is a big part of letting things go. This is an ongoing challenge for me, because as a small business owner, I’m always afraid of losing a revenue stream, or a client, or passing on what could be a really great chance for me to build my brand.
But I’ve made the mistake of overbooking myself — more than once — and paying the price with headaches, anxiety, and frustration. Maybe worst of all, taking on too much just means that none of it is fun. And why do it if it’s not at least a little bit fun?
I love my kids beyond measure. Even when they frustrate and challenge me, they are my people. The reasons I do what I do. The ones who love me unconditionally, whether I make a million dollars or barely scrape by. At the end of the day, I just want them to know that in my perfectly imperfect way, I did my best, and that I was always proud to be their mom.
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Heather @Lunging Through Life says
Grass is always greener! I honestly would love to work at home since I have a baby but I’m not sure how I’d ever get things done! You’re a star, Katy!
Bridget Swinney says
I’ve definitely been there and done that with no (so far) permanent damage done to the kiddos, who are now young adults! I still feel guilty about the time I had to put my son in a baby swing a few rooms away so I could do a phone radio interview. But there’s also the perks of working at home–like when my kids came on TV with me for a halloween story and when one got to be in the studio during a satellite media tour. In the end it’s all good, though at the time you wonder if it will all work out.
Brittany says
Great tips! I love my bullet journal. I am so happy I discovered it!
Sally @ Real Mom Nutrition says
Love this post! And I really like how honest she is about the myth of “work-life balance”. I also work at home and as much as I love it, it’s nothing like what it appears to everyone else. In fact, sometimes working from home is even harder because you’re always “at work”. I like how Katy says, “So I do what I can, when I can, and let the rest go.” Amen to that!
Sam @ Grapefruit & Granola says
Katy, I’ve always been a fan! Thanks for sharing what life is like with 2 kids. I especially appreciate acknowledging that there can’t always be work-life balance. I don’t have children but I still feel like this sometimes.
Kelli @ Hungry Hobby says
I still think you are an amazing superwoman. My favorite part about working from home is how everyone assumes you are available to do things all day. Oh, you can take a break and go on X errand right? Then you can just finish up later?
A) there is not finishing when you run your own business, the work never ends
B) Do you want to work at 2am? No I didn’t think so.
Saying no is crucial now, I can only imagine how much tougher it gets when kids are involved.
Tara | Treble in the Kitchen says
This is such a good post. I don’t have any kids, but plan on working for myself when I finally become an RD in about 2 years. Kids are in the future at some point, so it’s really great to read how other moms handle it 🙂 Love you both Katy and Lindsey!
Betty @http://bettysbalance.weebly.com says
I love this post, because its a honest picture of what being a working mom is like. We recently moved back to Oregon to be near family, and saying no has been our biggest challenge. Its been a long time since we have lived here and have a lot of friends and family to catch up with. But you’re totally right when you say it’s not worth it if saying yes to events/family functions/play dates etc. isn’t “at least a little bit fun”.